im just thinking it s a great night today
it s kinda nice to be home early..
eat home-cooked dinner that s still warm..
take a nice long leisurely bath(and catch up on my sorely needed skincare regime, no matter how minimalistic it still is)
and watch drama serials one after another on the couch
and and and MOST IMPTLY...
having NO agenda the next day..
well unless you count going for a shoulder and neck massage appointment.. =)
which im hoping will be sponsored by my dearest sis hehe

conversely.. i went home really late last night
met up with yuka n quek at holland v for dinner =)
oh gosh im so in love with this dessert in Essential Brews.. which is essentially just yummy ice cream on cornflakes with fresh strawberries.. which by the way cost 16 bucks -_-
we then proceeded to walas for a drink n cos yuka s friend s performing that night
i got a mojito which is rather strong but nice..
had lots of mint leaves in it though..that looked and tasted like vegetables =S
haha my alcohol tolerance is like so bad.. i drank like half a cup and i felt so drowsy i really wanted to lie down on the bar table to sleep (ok let s just assume here i usually dont sleep everywhere i go) ... not to mention i was really flushed..
=) the band was quite good.. i like the songs they did that night


b1 and b2 =)
got a remedial on sharpening the scaling instruments though.. -_-'''
my patient was this guy who seemed really apprehensive initially..
did not answer or return my phone calls nor reply my messages to make an appointment -_-
i almost gave up on him
so he finally came and then before i gave him an injection,
he even asked if it was the first time i was doing it
i tried to make it seem like it s a no-big-deal thing (which it kind of really is) and proceeded to anaesthesize him.. clean up his teeth and also extracted one tooth
he was so shocked when everything was over..
like he expected it to be really traumatic..
then he sent me this really nice sms about how there should be a dentist like me 35 yrs ago then he wouldnt be so frightened to see a dentist.. and how he was more scared to see a dentist than going to the principal office( i guess he must have been a rather naughty kid)..
and he ended off with something that sounded like he s looking forward to the next appointment
=).. one less person on earth who hates dentist yay

spking of which.. im a little anxious about treating little kids some times.. like those 3 or 4 yr old.. they seemed so fragile n it s like you re their first experience wrt seeing a dentist..
i always pray that i wont cause them to be scarred for life =p
and spking of 3 and 4 yr olds.. i only treated 2 before and they both fell asleep on me in the midst of my treatment..
and man are they hard to wake up... the first time it happened and the girl did not budge no matter how hard i tried waking her.. a cold chill ran down my spine when i had the sudden thought that maybe i had killed her or smth
thinking back now... it was rather hilarious as i really did check her for signs of breathing and a pulse... -_-

thank God it s the weekends... =).. thank God there s only one more week of school left..

♥ ( 10:51 PM ) ♥


i think i understand
after all, i always understand, right?

but then there s always that inner demon 'self-doubt' that tries to bring me down
"it's you. it's because you're a terrible person"

i guess it s fine
it really is

so what?

♥ ( 7:21 PM ) ♥


brownie is sooo cute
=)... i love his chubby face and how he enjoys being stroked on his head

eeyore where are u??? pls call me or msg me k
matcha parfait!!

im so inspired to pick up guitar

it poured really heavily this morning

♥ ( 11:57 PM ) ♥


你的眼中　藏著什麼　我從來都不懂
沒有關係　你的世界　就讓你擁有
不打擾　是我的溫柔

♥ ( 9:59 PM ) ♥


gosh.. cant believe im still awake at this unearthly hour..

just finished watching a jap drama "A song to the sun".. and it s such a nice show
though it caused my tear ducts to hyperfunction ..

what if you have a terminal illness?

what if you have not much time left to live?

what if you die tomorrow?

honestly... we dont know when we will leave this world..
we should cherish every single day we are alive
thank God every morning you wake up
love the people you have around you
pursue your visions and dreams

the girl in the show pursued her dream to be a singer with all that she has..
knowing she may just die any time


carpe diem may sound a tad cliche..
but really, we should seize the day..

we always sing in church on sundays about living our lives for God.. but monday comes and it s like you re being sucked into the world again.. dragging our feet through the days till the next weekend come.. this is totally not a testimony to God and certainly not what He would want to see us doing either.. i think i give myself too much slack some times just cos dental school is so horrible.. but is it just an excuse?

there s also another part i really like in the show..
that even though she and the male lead both know she does not have much time left
they both chose to fall in love and cherish each other in the time they have together

this is so unlike other love stories we read about so often:
the person with the terminal illness choosing to leave stoically to die alone,
in an attempt to minimise the pain/suffering the other half would feel should he/she pass away.
i think this is in a way somewhat self-righteous..
i think you should respect the wishes of your loved one and not just make decisions on your own
i say, love and let love

p.s. the guy in the show is so sweet... sigh

the clock struck a dozen and the spell was broken

♥ ( 4:38 AM ) ♥


I thought you were different..
I wish you were different..
I wish i could believe the things that you ve said.

♥ ( 10:09 PM ) ♥


my all time favourite...
angels or devils by dishwalla

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time I will fall
Into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

♥ ( 10:40 PM ) ♥


rollercoaster ride of emotions in a day

starting point at the valley: woke up feeling lost (dont that feeling suck), wanting to hide under my blanket for the rest of the day

uphill slightly: devoting my day to God in a small prayer

uphill slightly: in time to catch a ride to sch in JH's car =)

downnnnnn : thinking of the long day ahead- OHE competency, root canal

up slightly: completed LMN MMR and Facebow record

up slightly: seeing raymond my happy WILLING patient

plateau : knowing i passed my OHE competency

downnnnnn: have to see a patient i dont like to see... =(

down: patient late for half an hr

steep drop: did not finish cleaning and shaping and have to see patient for one more precious afternoon session ( and had difficulty doing access cavity, inserting a file, determining working length, taking a proper PA). in short, anything that could go wrong went wrong

drop: calling another patient im not looking forward to seeing, hearing him complain, having to squeeze a slot into my schedule to screen his mother

drop: realising my friend did not do what he happily agreed to help me do

drop: pissing off someone

drop: fed up with someone for getting pissed

drop: fed up with myself for not taking enough responsibility for the job

slightly up: having a waffle and milo break with esthero

downn: so much labwork to do!!!

and finally, as i unsuccessfully mounted my P/P casts the second time
my rollercoaster veered off the track

i didnt even try to stop them, in fact i thought they ll release all the pent up emotions in me

and almost immediately after the tears come,

as i realised how ridiculous i was - crying cos i have to re-mount my casts,
i started laughing

so for a few minutes, as i stood beside the sink with esthero looking most confounded and worried,
i laughed and cried together at the same time

it s a most peculiar feeling...
like im-really-sad-and-i-want-to-cry, ----> cry
but at the same time,
xingni-you-re-being-so-ridiculous-crying ----> laugh

i think im prob going to be abducted by aliens soon to be used in their study of peculiar human behaviour

or maybe they have already ruled me out as being too far off the tangent or
statistically insignificant (i do not know why im making a joke out of biostats... since i hate it and suck at it)

♥ ( 12:13 AM ) ♥


i was just randomly reading blogs of friends' friends and this quote sort of got me thinking...

" There are only two things that pierce the human heart - beauty and affliction." - Simone Weil

on an entirely different note, i think im quite disappointed in you..
but i guess i have no reason to expect anything from you too

♥ ( 1:27 AM ) ♥


hmm think im back to my old habit of sleeping late..
am so going to turn into a panda (if u do not consider me one already)

half the term is officially over.. 5 weeks of school have passed pretty fast actually though it seemed really long at the same time...
right in the middle of the tunnel, where the joy of the last holidays seem so far away and there s no sight of the light at the end of the tunnel...

cant believe i stayed in the lab till 12.3oam today.. on halloween friday
it must have been the latest i ve stayed to do my labwork..
thank God for company as mario n kaimun were staying back too..
n kaimun, being the ultra nice guy, gave me a lift back even though he stays in hougang (or ard that area)

actually... it s rather therapeutic to do labwork late at night...
the lab is relatively free of the usual hustle n bustle..
you sit alone at ur bench,
a table light switched on among the rows of benches
and you just kinda drown yourself in your work
different thoughts come to mind but you just let them come and pass
but your hands keep moving
it s as if time has stopped in a standstill outside while you work on in your little own world

some times, i think, i really enjoy the feeling of being lost in my own world

apologise for my disintegrated sentences..

the panda needs to sleep

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." -Proverbs 4:23

♥ ( 2:12 AM ) ♥