a man, a boy
a dreamer
recreating his dreams
that like a blackhole
devours him

following a light
that doesnt lead
but blinds
he found a way that loses him

blood that tries to cover him is disdained
love suffocates, he says

and flee into oblivion



but love always perseveres,
and love always wins...in the end


always awaiting your reply

♥ ( 12:04 AM ) ♥


i am so regretting it

it is getting out of control

=(((


and it s FRIDAY in an hr s time...


omg omg omg omg omg



omg

♥ ( 10:41 PM ) ♥


meanwhile...

i ve been having panic attacks... =/

the smallest thing can trigger a huge bolt of blue... and a bout of tears...

while i ve always been managing stress with loads of food..
i totally have no appetite for anything now... =(... it s terrible to lose ur appetite..

shoo... fear... go away!.. in the name of Jesus!

ah.. there s no way im going to finish studying..
i just pray i can remember whatever i ve studied.. n that whatever i didnt manage to study wont come out for exams...

i ll just do what i can each day n leave the rest to God...

He holds the future.. and He holds my hand =)...

on another note...

ah.. i just counted... i only have 5 'fingers of happyness' left..
it s supposed to last me till next friday.. but im short of 4 now..
it s either i ve cheated by eating more than one a day.. or my little cousin ate it!!

i think i ll really really be super duper depressed now(more than i already am). if not for my 'exam affair'.. .. so thank you for being so nice.. sigh

more happyness pls

on another note...

i encountered 2 types of guys today who...

when you re down...

Type 1) sympathetic - ' hao ke lian...treat you to ice cream k"

Type 2) stoic n unfeeling - 'huh cry for what.. crying doesnt help.. got time to cry might as well use the time to study"

well i guess u need both types of friends...

with type 1.. u ll tend to get more dependent n bask in the sympathy n wallow for a while more before u get on to work, but encouraged

with type 2.. u ll get ur ass to work right away, 'inspired' (euphemistically speaking) since he might read this -_-


sigh.. why am i using my time to blog...

on the last note...

mel spent her 23rd birthday with me in the library...

haha.. well mel i hope it hadnt been too terrible... let s pretend ur birthday is on the 22nd k..
WOLVERINE!!.. =)))

♥ ( 2:06 AM ) ♥


=....(

♥ ( 10:33 PM ) ♥


L: "so did you find your happiness today?"

..... =) you nv'd guess

withdrawal symptoms time... boo

♥ ( 1:25 AM ) ♥


what a day....

first.. i nearly cried after cg at the thought of my exams...

then i msged a dear friend how upset and hurt i am by his actions (and yet to get a reply)

then i called many ppl for no good reason.. like really talk abt where they are what are they doing...
and the thing is i dont usu call ppl to talk on the phone!
i called mel,yuka, zy, esther, ws and also called my mum, my dad and my sister..

then i really cried while i was by myself at kap..
i was trying to hold it in while talking to my mum n dad.. but when i reached my sis i couldnt stop the tears... =/.. thankfully i could hide by turning to face the wall

then, having stayed at kap macs from 6.30-11pm, almost studying nothing, i went home..

then, i tried to make brownie pee in his litter box first before letting him out for his run...
and for the first time, i made "hsuuuuu" sounds at him for a few mins ( like those mothers encouraging their kids to pee) ...
but it didnt work

and last but NOT LEAST, i actually mailed someone whom i thought i ll nv EVER msg again.. (OMG what have i done????) and currently still feeling traumatised (melllll........ 0_0)

NUS B.D.S... what have you done to me.... =(


Your grace is enough, more than i need...

♥ ( 1:19 AM ) ♥